Everyone – no matter how happy you are – has one or more days of rest. On those days when you are pessimistic about your future, especially the idea that you may never find someone to share your life with again. These are very healthy doubts and most singles can put these doom thoughts into perspective after a few days. However, in some cases, this fear can become so strong that it affects you in everyday life. Then you are talking about one Anxiety disorders As “anuptaphobia”.
People with this disorder no longer see things in their proper perspective. The fear of being alone is so great that you shut yourself in, become negative and keep thinking in circles about your “destiny.” You end up in a negative spiral. The result is a self-reinforcing effect: A person who is not feeling well will not find a partner quickly.
Cause feelings of anxiety
The fear of being alone can happen to anyone. What is a “player” will vary from person to person. You see it often in women who – when they were in their 30s – feared being left alone, leaving their cravings to have children unrealized. But other things also cause insecurity in both men and women, young and old. Think, for example, about grief over a past relationship, fear because you don’t think you can handle life on your own or an inferiority complex because of a bad experience from the past.
Parship’s Femke van der Hoeven, an online dating site, offers a number of tips for individuals who struggle with these bad vibes.
You only worry about five minutes a day
As a stranger, it is always easy to yell, “Stop worrying.” This is easier said than done. The first step is to reduce anxiety: Allow yourself to worry for five minutes a day. Do what you want, with help from a diary or by trusting a good friend After those five minutes, it is important to force yourself to return to daily life. Often after a period of time, the negative thinking is less, because they gain a little space in your daily life. If this happens it does not help after a few weeks, then it may present a number From conversations with the therapist a solution. It sounds more positive. “
Don’t start dating until you are ready
“It is very tempting to fill in“ being alone ”with or looking for a partner. My advice: Do not do this. Only when you feel good about yourself can you make another person happy. Starting a relationship from fear is doomed to failure. The desire for it may be Not being alone is so big that you are looking for someone who does not suit you. As a result, you will find yourself alone again later and you have to struggle through this difficult time again. ”
Get involved in a new hobby, job, or sport
“Anxiety can take in so much negative energy that it poisons your daily life. So try to replace thoughts of fear with doing things you really enjoy. This simply means that you don’t have time to think about this unfulfilled love all the time. Find a hobby, or choose a sport as an outlet. Or give in to your work, or – if it is possible again – to a rich social life. Even if it is not normal at first to do enjoyable things: if you persevere, then you will notice for a while that it is still useful. ”