Do you face a related embarrassment? Then raise the issue Rica Bonnet (Duet Dating Agency). Every Thursday she would answer a listener’s question in ‘New Facts’. (Leave your question through this form)
This week the questioner is coming from Martha. He writes: “I am 34 years old and come from a large family of 5 brothers and sisters. We get along well and I’m really happy with them, but at one point we disagreed. We are all very bad at giving, receiving and choosing gifts for each other. The stress already starts in September when I look for a New Year’s gift for each of them. We agreed not to give more than once, but my sister gave me a gift and we all felt guilty and stingy. We agreed to buy a gift worth 100 euros now, but for me it was too hard. I have already bought some items I have never seen again and have already seen the disappointment in the face of my gifts. I also think the gifts I receive are stupid. How can I better deal with this problem? “
“I think we all have experience in that,” Rica laughs. “Giving gifts is often a tricky business. Asian culture has, in a good way, resolved that you are not allowed to open your gift in front of others so that you can disappoint them.
“The problem often arises when choosing a gift. What do you do to please someone? Everyone seems to have everything. If you do not spontaneously know what you want to buy for someone, you will often do something stupid. But giving anything is often not the solution because it can have an impact on the relationship.
Buy the one you like
“If you want to give a gift to someone, you often think that this gift should be suitable for the other person and that you should be informed in advance. But it turns out that it is not such a good strategy. A recent study has devised a better strategy, which is to give you something that you are satisfied with or that you consider most beautiful. It creates a kind of connection where you share a part of yourself with others, ”Rika explains.
“Even a gift that takes a little effort, for example, something you create yourself, can be charming. It quickly shows that you like someone. If that doesn’t work, paying is always a good option. For example, put money on a good card. Self-satisfaction is a deep need of man. By giving money, you are contributing to the growth of that person. Then you don’t have to change your gift, you can do what you want to do. “
Listen to the conversation with Rika Ponnet on ‘Nieuwe Feiten’ via Radio 1 Select.