“feeling instead of suppressing”

This month’s NSMBL is all about mental health. An important topic that has been discussed, thank God, more and more openly in recent years. Also by myself. I have to admit I am a Sunday kid when it comes to mental health. Except for the panic attack period in 2019.

I love listening to podcasts about mental health and improving it. And while I salute anyone who works on themselves, I sometimes wonder how good it is to be busy all the time with improving your mental health.

Suddenly there they were, panic attacks

I am well aware that I am now talking about a very fragile subject. Everyone’s mental health is different which is why I’m only speaking for myself today.

I’ve had a whispering life and never had any issues with mental health, until I hit the lightbulb in 2019. Like many others, I had panic attacks. I was terrified because I had never had such a feeling before. On consecutive nights I didn’t sleep a wink, and during the day I felt feelings of panic escalate several times. Not my finest hour.

After a few months, the feeling of panic subsided and the hesitation became less. Panic attacks no longer come every day, but once a week. And then not every week, but once a month. Now, four years later, they’re not quite gone, but I know how to deal with them. Once every six months, another panic attack comes around the corner, which I managed to breathe without difficulty.

Obsessed with improving my mental health

When I was in the middle of a panic attack, I did everything I could to get rid of the attacks. I threw myself into meditation, went for hours of walking to clear my mind and listened to several podcasts all giving different advice. I’ve tried them all, but nothing helped. I began to realize more and more that all the methods I had tried were putting more and more pressure on me. Because how good is it for your mental health, to be preoccupied with your mental health all the time?

Suddenly it became a feeling, instead of being oppressed. In my case, all those little techniques acted as a suppression of tension in my body. With my new motto “feelings want to feel”, I live a much more relaxed life.